BREAKING NEWS: Men Have Selected Eyesight!

No, no they don’t.

After one of my fundraisers (I am raising money for the National Autistic Society) I had three large bags of remaining bits and pieces and one of my large fundraising buckets sitting on the top. This lot has been sitting in the kitchen for three months. It was in the corner, but you had to move it all out of the way to open a drawer and it was generally taking up a lot of space, plus didn’t look great.

You know those jobs that you know full well won’t take long to do but you constantly put it off because you just can’t be arsed to start it, well this was one of them.

So, yesterday, I thought I would just get it done. I sorted the whole lot out, I put lots of bits on Vinted to sell, chucked some and the rest I put in the shed. I cleaned up the whole space and it looked so much better, like we had our kitchen back again.

Now, Jake would normally walk into a room and instantly know when something had been moved or changed because of his autism. When he was younger, I couldn’t do anything to any room because it would really throw him off or I would need to run through it all with him first – in the end, I didn’t do anything and everything remained exactly the same for years.

I was counting on Jake walking in from school and noticing straight away that everything was gone, and I would be able to brag that I had had a very productive day and then proceed to bore him with all the details.

Jake didn’t even notice.

He didn’t have a clue what I was talking about and couldn’t remember what was there before. I had no words and just thought I suppose I should be happy as he was acting like a kid, and I would then pin all my hopes on Simon noticing.

Simon didn’t even notice.

Simon’s exact words were ‘Even if you put a gun to my head, I could not tell you what was there before’.

THREE BLOODY MONTHS IT ALL SAT THERE!!

How, seriously HOW, do men not notice anything, ever? The thing that worries me the most is I had high hopes for Jake noticing and now it looks like he is following in his father’s footsteps of selective eyesight.

It is like when I leave washing/items/shoes/coats/toys etc at the bottom of the stairs to be taken up next time someone (probably me) goes up and Simon will just step over it and walk up the stairs. Then when I ask him why he didn’t take the mountain of crap he just walked over, up with him, he always replies with, ‘I didn’t see it’.

‘You didn’t see it? You had to step over it all to get up the first three stairs and didn’t it enter your head why it would all be there, in the way, by the stairs?’

‘Honestly Soph, I genuinely didn’t see it’.

Now, I’ll be honest, by this point, my head has already gone. There is no coming back for Simon for a good half an hour or more because in my head Simon is telling me, ‘Look OK I saw it, but I couldn’t be bothered to bring it up with me, so I left it for you to do as you left it there in the first place’.

Run Simon, run.

It gets worse than that because when he does take stuff upstairs with him, he leaves it on the bed for me to sort out and he will be proud that he took some crap up fourteen steps and placed it on the bed.

Sometimes I think am I being mean, and men really cannot see what is in front of them or think ‘This lot must need to go up’ so they will simply carry it up with them.

Are their brains wired up so differently to ours that this simple act doesn’t connect with mind and body, and they are literally on tunnel vision to where they need to go?

That they don’t mean to be lazy or inconsiderate it’s just they are busy thinking about other stuff (boobs, sex, football, food, sleep, and boobs).

Then that thought quickly disappears because we surely can’t be that different, we can’t, it is utter madness.

Don’t even get me started on men wanting a medal for completing simple everyday tasks that we women do day in and day out with no help or gold star to add to the rewards chart.

Here are a few sentences that will get a man killed –

‘I washed up today, so you didn’t have to do it and I gave everything a good clean as I have noticed recently that things are not as clean as they normally are.’

‘What have you done all day while I have been at work?’

‘I changed the toilet roll today with you having to nag me!’

‘It’s OK I’ll look after our son and not go footy tonight so you can have your annual night out with the girls.’

I think John Gray was correct and men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

Big love to all the women on International Womens Day today and for not killing our men when they leave shit on the stairs, you rock.