Baby Reindeer

No spoilers here – as I am dragging this beauty out for as long as I can but one tale from me.

You may have noticed the next hit on Netflix is a real-life drama written by Richard Gadd, who stars as himself in the show and it plays out the horrors of being stalked by a lady called Martha, who is played by the wonderful Jessica Gunning, and she is absolutely perfect for the role – that laugh send shivers down my spine.

I won’t talk too much about the show as I am still watching it myself (when something is this good, I tend to drag it out as long as I can) but what I will say is this – YOU MUST WATCH IT. Quoting the great Lorraine Kelly from when she interviewed the pair this morning on her show, she said, “Your jaw will have carpet burns from it constantly hitting the floor” and she couldn’t be any more correct.

This dark and twisting show is like something we have never seen before and you have to keep reminding yourself, that this is true, this did happen. What drills that in is Richard has used the real emails he was sent, and we get to see how they are written with poor spelling and grammar, written as she speaks with no filter; one after another, after another, after another – there are hundreds to choose from.

Huge respect to Richard, a very talented man, to relive this horror for us all to witness but to share it so deeply and honestly with the world.

When I was watching the show, it got me thinking about all the stupid situations I found myself in when I was internet dating for six long years and all the nutters that came across my path.

I used to work in a pub and the stories you see and hear from behind the bar while pulling a pint is an email for another day but this one day something happened.

I had been talking to this bloke on Facebook and I wasn’t interested at all, I was being polite but had no intentions of going on a date with him. He would send me random messages asking about my day and just being friendly, so me being me I would just reply and hoping to leave it there.

One day I was working at the pub and serving customers, it was a quiet one and I was working on my own. This bloke came up and ordered two drinks, I served him, and he went and sat down with a woman at the corner table – in my eyeline.

He then returned and asked me if I had a pen he could borrow. I gave him the pen and he went and sat back down again.

My phone pinged.

I went over to check it.

There was a message from the polite bloke.

‘Thank you for the pen. You are looking great today!’

My heart jumped out of my chest.

I quickly looked around the pub at all the men and my brain was going overtime trying to process what was happening. I had only given one person a pen today and it was him, the one sitting in front of me, at a table – with his girlfriend.

I ignored the message; they finished their drinks and they left.

He had the power; he had come in to find me and to see me in real life and to give him more of a kick he brought his girlfriend along for the ride.

I know what you are all thinking – didn’t I recognise him? No.

I am utterly useless with people and linking online people to real people, plus he looked very different to his profile photo. I think the profile I saw was a fake one and after that day it all disappeared, and I never heard from him or saw him again.

Now I didn’t do anything, I put it down to yet another internet oddball I had to deal with and back then I was thinking – what can I do in all honesty? I gave him a pen and he said thank you for it! Even today nothing would be done because nothing happened.

But these are the people to watch out for.

The ones that act completely normal, in a relationship, are very kind and polite and fully aware of where the line is so they won’t cross it. That way they aren’t the problem – you are– it’s all in your head because what has really happened?

It was a subtle message meant for me.

‘I can see you whenever I want and there is nothing you can do about it’.

Believe me, I wish now that I marched over there and showed his girlfriend the messages but again, he was clever and never really said anything too bad and I couldn’t do that to her, but I should have, I know that now and I hope all these years later she is OK.

This is only one story of many, all made easier by the powers of the internet.

Watch the show, it is amazing and be safe as there are many Marathas in the world.