Any hole's a goal – no, really it isn’t.
After watching a terrifying video on social media (I recently shared it on my Instagram stories @bad_mum_) of women asking men in the street, ‘How do women wee when they have their period?’ Then listening to the men’s responses, I feel I must address this in some way.
OK, so let’s break this down, I’ll begin with men.
Unless a man needs to know a woman’s sexual anatomy for educational purposes, they simply won’t spend much time contemplating it. They won’t even ask, just wonder, and discuss it with the lads down the pub over a few beers but they will never go as far as to just ask us the question.
So, it doesn’t surprise me that men don’t know which hole is which and how we have our period and go for a wee at the same time. To them, it’s up there with the mysterious G-Spot and wondering if women touch their boobs all day, it’s best left alone.
But some of the responses on the video still blow my mind!
Let’s run through a few of them...brace yourself.
Quite a few men simply thought we removed the tampon every time we went for a wee.
How do we even begin to unpack that one? Well, the cost implications alone would break the bank if we had to put a new tampon in every time, we needed a wee! I alone wee for England and would fly through a box of tampons a day and them buggers aren’t cheap (they should be free but that’s a whole new article).
One man thought the tampon absorbed all the liquid in one; blood, urine, God knows what else and soaks it all up! Now that would need to be a super super super plus tampon and that thing would be the size of my head. And can you imagine how heavy that would be? A 10lb tampon weighing heavily in between your legs whilst trying to act normal.
One man thought we pull it aside so we can have a wee! Pull a super absorbent tampon aside – where would it go? Slot it into its compartment then just place it back when you’re finished. One drop of wee on that tampon and the thing inflates like a balloon. I suggest to all men to get a tampon, place it into the water, and watch the magic happen, it will blow your mind.
All of this comes down to one thing, some men believe everything- babies, blood, urine, cocks, sex toys, fingers, Smear test swabs and tampons all enter and exit the same ONE hole. There’s one hole that does the job. Men who are way into adulthood are still not being sat down and shown that we women do have TWO holes – yes, it’s remarkable (remarkable that we have two holes and that men don’t know this!)
Like I said I will let them off, it’s not their body and they just don’t care enough to find out what goes on down there or want to ruin the magic. But women not knowing where their urine comes from- well blow me down with a feather.
To be fair I don’t ever remember being sat down and someone (hopefully my mother) explaining to me which hole does what or someone giving me a mirror and telling me to introduce myself to the ins and outs of my body, I just somehow know.
I don’t know if it’s from looking, having to pee on a stick or in a tiny plastic pot for the doctor (that is a skill and if you don’t know where your wee is coming out from, sorry but you have no hope of achieving that goal) but surely it is just common sense (sorry…kind of). Come on! Woman MUST know where their pee is coming from, please tell me you do.
Before I leave you thinking about your holes and asking everyone around you if they know the answer, as soon as I watched that video, I picked up the phone and rang my now husband (God that’s wired to say after 11 years together) and asked him. I am so pleased to report that he knew the correct answer and which hole is which – and that folks is why I married the man.
Oh, and one man believed that we can’t swim in the sea when we have our period because it will attract sharks…
Women do rule the world – thank God!
Photo credit: Image by René Schindler from Pixabay